You lie there trying to relax, yet you play the day’s
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To the best night’s sleep of your life every night,

Scott Allen Barker

What is a mind-set? Typically a mind-set refers to your principal state of mind day to day. It’s what you think about, focus on, and expect from your daily experiences. Think negatively, expect the worst, feel pessimistic about your options, and that’s exactly what you’ll seem to draw into your life. Likewise, think positively, expect the best and focus on a successful outcome, and you will obtain it most of the time.

Makes sense, right? But how exactly does this work? Why is a success mind-set so important? There are three big reasons:

1) A success mind-set boosts your confidence and self-belief.

A lack of belief in yourself usually comes along with a sense of powerlessness and unproductively, which is the exact opposite of a success mind-set. Lack of confidence means you see no point in trying to be successful because it won’t happen anyway. Obviously, this type of mind-set is a recipe for failure in any attempt.

Having a true success mind-set on the other hand, means you believe in yourself and your abilities. You believe you can succeed at nearly anything you try, and you’re willing to give it your best shot. Even better, the more you do try, the more confidence and self-belief you build - until you’re virtually unstoppable!

2) A success mind-set strengthens your determination.

Without a success mind-set, one failure is enough to convince you that pursuing your goals is a waste of time. Courage and determination doesn’t exist in your world. If you don’t become a raging success the first time you try, presume that it simply wasn’t meant to be. Unfortunately, few things worth having are obtained so easily!

A success mind-set however, strengthens your awareness that a failure is not the end of the story - it’s just one more way that didn’t work out the way you planned. In fact, a true success mind-set makes it obvious that the only true failure occurs when you stop trying.

3) A success mind-set encourages productively.

Have you ever found yourself wandering in circles because you didn’t know the best way to approach a specific goal? Perhaps you had an idea of the best course of action, but you felt intimidated by some of the action steps required. As a result, you may have kept undermining your efforts as you searched in vain for an easier or less frightening way to your goal.

With a true success mind-set, you’ll always know the most effective action steps that will lead directly to your goal. As already discussed, you’ll also have the inner confidence and determination to pursue them - which is a sure recipe for . . . you guessed it; success!

If I had to sum up how to develop a success mind-set into as few words as possible, I’d say this:

* Go for your dreams.
* Think positively.
* Believe in yourself.
* Believe you can do better.
* Learn, grow and develop yourself.
* Be willing to take chances.
* Give it your all.
* Expect the best in every situation.
* Be willing to fail.
* When you fall down, get back up and try again.

Keep doing that and you can’t help but become successful, from the inside out. All you have to do is to take action today and shoot for the stars!

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If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time, or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may choose to have a pessimist’s point of view and live a self-defeated life, or you may decide to take the optimist’s route, and choose to have a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity, to good health so we can live a long life, and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of pessimism and depression have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people.

Here’s how optimists are in action, and why it really pays to be an optimist:

1) Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, and undermine everything they do. They also tend to believe that everything that happens to them, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same difficulties of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune—it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, and that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem’ at hand. They use ‘positive reinterpretation.’ In other words, they most likely perceive a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are not bothered by a bad situation. They perceive it as a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectations of optimists also predict better reactions during changes to new environments, sudden tragedies, and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

2) People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted. Those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria, are treated unfavorably.

In life, optimists often win elections, get voted most pleasurable, and are sought for advice.

3) When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher.

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress, than people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist, or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

Optimists hang tough. They just don’t give up easily. They’re also known for their patience. They inching their way a step closer to that goal or their elusive dream.

4) Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, and are much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. They also get to outlive those who are prone to negative thoughts.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be flexible? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes, but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life on the bright side?

So why not be an optimist today? Think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

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Autism Asperger Publishing Co.

Scott Barker: EzineArticles.com = Expert Author

There is a term in the autistic world that is referred to as “spectrum disorder”. This refers to the severity of autism or lack thereof. The person can either be slightly autistic or severely autistic.

The signs for autism vary for different people. One of the biggest signs that can provide a hint to this condition is their social skills. Within this sign and others, there are other things that can provide clues as to whether or not a person may be autistic, such as:

* Very little eye contact with other people

* Their tone of voice is either high or flat

* Speech patterns from children that are different from the norm and are constantly
repetitious

* Extremely sensitive to sound or crowds of people

* Have a hard time making and keeping friendships

* Not able to verbally interact with others on a regular basis

* Extremely sensitive to light

* Motor skills are not up to par

* Doesn’t express interest in a lot of things (maybe one or two)

There are some times where you can’t tell if a person has autism, simply because they can carry on a conversation as though they did not have the condition. There are also those that are in between that can talk, but are not able to focus on carrying on a simple conversation.

Studies show that more of this condition is found in males than in females, which puts them at a greater risk. It has also been noted that a link to autism can be found in families. If there is one person that has been diagnosed as being autistic, more than likely the next brother or sister may be the same way.

Also, if there are twins and one has been diagnosed as such, the other twin sibling may be as well. Even with this, it doesn’t mean that genetics is the sole autism link. It also doesn’t mean that a single gene is responsible for causing it. There could be other factors involved.

Research regarding autism links has been conducted by scientists. In this case, the environment was looked at as a cause. Some of the factors that came out of this included electronics, toxin exposure and radiation exposure from numerous ultrasounds for women that were expecting.

One of the biggest and most talked about possibilities to date is a link between autism and vaccines. This theory has been heavily debated and is continuing. There have been studies that stated that certain vaccines did contribute to autism.

On the other hand, there were some people that dispelled the notion that this could be true. However, even with that, there has not been a solid connection regarding whether or not vaccines are a link to autism.

Since there is not definitive answer, all that can be done now is to continue research and conducting studies to see if there will ever be a link to what causes this developmental condition.

* For more information or resources on Autism:

Autism Society of America

Autism Asperger Publishing Co.

Scott Barker: EzineArticles.com = Expert Author

This article may be freely reprinted or
distributed in its entirety in any Ezine,
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Most people are content just to stand around listening for orders. It isn’t unusual to adopt a follow-the-leader mentality. But maybe, somewhere inside of you, you feel the desire to make things happen – to be the leader, not the follower. Then maybe being the follower suits you fine.

Some people believe that model leaders are made, not born. Yes, it may be true that some people are born with natural talents. However, without practice, without drive, without enthusiasm, and without experience, there can be no true development in leadership.

You must also remember that model leaders are continually working and studying to improve their natural skills. This takes a commitment to constantly improve in whatever endeavor a person chooses.

First of all, let’s define model leadership. To be a model leader, one must be able to influence others to accomplish a goal, or an objective. He contributes to the organization and togetherness of a group.

Contrary to what most people believe, leadership is not about power. It is not about harassing people or driving them using fear. It is about encouraging others towards the goal of the organization. It is putting everyone on the same page and helping them see the big picture of the organization. You must be a leader, not a boss.

First of all, you have to get people to follow you. How can this accomplished?

People follow others when they see a clear sense of purpose. People will only follow you if they see that you know where you are going. Remember that bumper sticker that says, “don’t follow me, I’m lost too”? The same holds true for leadership. If you do not know where you’re headed to, chances are people will not follow you at all.

You must know the vision of the organization. Having a clear sense of hierarchy, knowing who the bosses are, who to talk to, their goals and objectives, and how the organization works is the only way to show others you know what you are doing.

Being a model leader is not about what you make others do. It’s about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you’re subordinates must be.

Studies have shown that another sign of model leadership is the trust and confidence your subordinates have of you. If they trust you, they will accomplish many things for you and for the organization.

Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.

The way you deal with your people, and the relationships you build will lay the foundation for the strength of your group. The stronger your relationship, the stronger their trust and confidence is in your capabilities.

Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake.

Communication is a very important key to model leadership. Without this, you can not be a model leader. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly passed on to other people.

Also, you can not be a model leader unless you have good judgment. You must be able to assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.

It is this judgment that your subordinates will come to rely upon. Therefore, good decision-making is vital to the success of your organization.

Model leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone.

You should recognize and take advantage of the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.

Remember being a model leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight. Remember, that it is not about only you. It is about you and the people around you.

So, do you have the drive and the desire to serve required of model leaders? Do you have the desire to work cooperatively with other people? Then start now. Take that stand and be that leader today.

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A socially-empowered person achieves so much greatness, basically because of the people that launch him to success. He earns the trust and all-out support of everyone whom he had helped before. He never runs out of help. He can do anything with many people behind him. All because he maximizes his social potential!

If you know your social skills and you make use of them, you will reach self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is making a general overhaul in your life and turning yourself into a happier and more successful person. If you can be one of those people-persons, then I can’t see any reason why you will not succeed. You just have to know how to start.

1. “Be genuine.”

Insincerity will just bring you down. Be genuinely nice and interested in others. Once they perceive that you are Mr. Hypocrite with selfish intentions, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever reach self-empowerment.

2. “Be the greatest listener that you can be.”

To earn the love and trust of others, listen to their problems and sympathize with them. Do not just hear them out. Listen to them with your heart. Make eye contact when the person talks to you. Listen as if every word matters.

3. “Laugh out loud.”

I do not mean that you force yourself to laugh at every joke cracked by someone, especially if you do not find it funny at all. This means finding humor in things and not being too serious. A person with an awesome sense of humor attracts crowds, and eventually attracts success.

4. “Don’t forget yourself.”

In the process of fluttering around like a social butterfly, you might forget yourself, allowing everyone to push you over. Remember, love and value yourself before anyone else. If you deem yourself respectable and worthy of affection, people will flock to you and not trample on you.

5. “Do random acts of kindness.”

Little acts of kindness matters the most, and this can be as simple as giving someone a surprise you-take-care kind of card, or helping an elderly person cross the street. When we were kindergarten students, kindness was taught to us and greatly practiced. Now is the time to revive the good deeds, and this time let them stay for good.

6. “Contact your old friends.”

It’s sad how some friendships are destined not to last, but you can do something about it. Relive the good old days by flipping through your yearbook and look for the great people whom you want to communicate with again. Adding these old friends to your roster of support will surely make you feel good all over.

7. “Develop your personality.”

Are you generally grouchy? Whoa, you can’t go through life being that way. Get rid of the bad traits and habits that can hamper your growth. And really, who wants a grouchy friend anyway?

8. “Be confident.”

Be able to stride to the other corner of the room and introduce yourself to others with that winning smile of yours. Just remember: be confident, not arrogant.

9. “Practice control.”

When you’re angry, don’t snap at anyone. Never throw a tantrum. Stay calm and collected. Be mature enough to take control of situations and transform your anger into something more productive and passive. If others think your anger goes to volcanic proportions easily, they will find it hard to come to you.

10. “Keep nurturing your relationships.”

Your relationships with your family, friends, and significant others, is too precious that you must not neglect it no matter what. Go out and have fun with them. Do things together. Happiness will stay with you as long as the people who matter the most are close to you.

Final thought:

Self-empowerment means becoming a better and more lovable person. It’s a win-win situation. Those who know you can turn to you anytime and so can you. If you sincerely apply these tips, you will surely notice the difference.

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You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of wine. You think to yourself, “She looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read through her transparent mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts, and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “Are people talking about why I am seated here alone?. Why don’t guys find me attractive? I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny. I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and think “What else could he ask for?” He stares at himself in the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I hate my big eyes. I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so perfect and wish we could trade places with them. Meanwhile they look at us and think the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she’s around, and she doesn’t notice how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone whom you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “Do you think I am ill-mannered?” “Do I always sound so argumentative?” “Do I talk too loud?” “Does my breath smell?” “Do I ever bore you when were together?” In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve herself.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” That is a true statement. In order to love others, you must first love yourself. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life does not need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

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Now let’s say you’re walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what you’re thinking?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty general. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. Projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you will also make others around you feel the same way.

A negative attitude on the other hand, has an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays, since all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative news.
A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly very sad.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So what can you do? Well for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes a positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from all of the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the first thing people do is try to give them advice. But sometimes all they need is somebody to sit by them and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude, you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad or angry, is not wrong. But dwelling on these thoughts for too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually slows aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today and change your life for the better.

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